tExt 3
thE wAy to kEEp lovE AlivE in A CommittED rElAtionship is to rEplACE thE ExCitEmEnt oF insECurity AnD longing with thE morE proFounD thrill oF A journEy oF DisCovEry.As liFE unFolDs, you AnD your pArtnEr ChAngE AnD grow in DiFFErEnt wAys.BE AwArE oF your own DEvElopmEnt, AnD stAy in tunE with your pArtnEr’s thoughts AnD Emotions. tAlk ABout thE wAy you sEE yoursElvEs AnD EACh othEr, AnD plumB your DEEpEst FEArs AnD longings. gEt ClosE: Ask AnD tEll. tAkE thE risk oF DisCovEring lEss thAn ComFortABlE FEElings in your quEst For knowlEDgE. so mAny CouplEs jog Along in prEDiCtABlE AnD CompAnionABlE routinEs BECAusE it is too DiFFiCult—or FrightEning—to ExplorE thE DEpths oF thEir pErsonAlitiEs. thEy piCturE thEmsElvEs As ContEntEDly "siDE By siDE". this is A pErFECtly ADEquAtE ArrAngEmEnt For oFFEring ComFort AnD support, But it ignorEs intimACy, thE wholE worlD oF riChEs thAt CommitmEnt hAs to oFFEr.
EmotionAl intimACy rEquirEs ACtivE EngAgEmEnt AnD CAnnot BE AChiEvED By pArtnErs who run on pArAllEl linEs. truE knowlEDgE oF your pArtnEr—pArtly through DEvEloping intuition AnD AwArEnEss, pArtly through Asking AnD tElling—is thE most ExCiting AnD FulFilling oF thE riChEs thAt CommittED lovE hAs to oFFEr. to truly know somEonE is to pEnEtrAtE his or hEr pErsonAlity, to ACCEpt whAt you FinD thErE, gooD AnD not so gooD, AnD to lovE thAt pErson. to Allow somEonE to pEnEtrAtE your own pErsonAlity is to BE opEn AnD vulnErABlE to thEm, to trust thEm with thE pArts oF yoursElF you FinD DiFFiCult to FAthom AnD to givE yoursElF in lovE. this two-wAy proCEss is rEnEwED EvEry timE your ConvErsAtion with your pArtnEr BrEAks nEw grounD、
novElistAliCE wAlkEr onCE sAiD thAt Although wE think wE FAll in lovE BECAusE oF sExuAl AttrACtion, whAt wE ArE rEAlly looking For is somEonE who is "ABlE to hEAr us".AnD thErE is A truE story oF A mAn who sAt For A womAn pAintEr.DAy AFtEr DAy shE stuDiED him intEntly, trAnsFErring whAt shE lEArnED ABout him through hEr EyEs to thE CAnvAs. thE mAn wAs DEEply movED By BEing lookED At so minutEly, so sEArChing, AnD whEn hE sAw thE portrAit hE wAs AmAzED By thE pErCEptivEnEss oF hEr intErprEtAtion oF his ChArACtEr.During thE sittings hE hAD FAllEn in lovE with thE pAintEr, AnD now, ovErwhElmED, hE took hEr in his Arms.
thEsE show thAt thE kEy ingrEDiEnt in DEEp ErotiC lovE is knowlEDgE AChiEvED By listEning AnD looking, By pAying ClosE AttEntion. this kinD oF knowlEDgE is An ongoing proCEss with ACtivE pArtiCipAtion AnD DEEpEns with thE yEArs. thE CouplE who intErACt, who pAy AttEntion, who rEAlly listEn AnD rEAlly look At onE AnothEr, kinDlE DEEp ErotiC lovE through lAyEr upon lAyEr oF CrEAtivE unDErstAnDing AnD ACCEptAnCE.
thE story oF A mAn who sAt For A womAn pAintEr is tolD to show thAt______.A．pEoplE usuAlly FAll in lovE BECAusE oF sExuAl AttrACtion
B、pEoplE will FAll in lovE whEn thEy stuDy EACh othEr intEntly
C．lovE usuAlly rEsults From knowlEDgE AChiEvED By pEnEtrAting EACh othEr’s pErsonAlity
D．DEEp ErotiC lovE is thE rEsult oF looking At EACh othEr minutEly