7 things youCAn’t sAy inCAnADA
AttACking our sACrED" Cows (things or pEoplE thAt CAnnot BE CritiCizED) mAy turn you into onE lookED Down upon By All othErs--But it CAn Also BE A lot oF Fun.
EvEry CulturE hAs its unACknowlEDgED tABoos--thE things you ArE ForBiDDEn to sAy or Do in politE CompAny, thE ACCEptED truths you ArE not AllowED to DouBt. you might think thAt A liBErAl, opEn-minDED Country likECAnADA woulD BE FrEE oF suCh tABoos, But you’D BE wrong. in spitE oF our BEliEF in our own CivilizED tolErAnCE, somE things ArE simply not opEn to DEBAtE. iF you try, you’rE BounD to shoCk thE nEighBors.
it’s risky to quEstion thE wisDom oF thE triBE. you might gEt stonED、on thE othEr hAnD, somE pEoplE might wAlk sECrEtly up to you AFtErwArDs AnD tEll you thAt thEy sECrEtly AgrEE.
so hErE’s A ChAllEngE to A FEw oF our nAtion’s most wiDEly hElD BEliEFs. you sAy thEsE things in puBliC At your own DAngEr. i will BE ElABorAting on thEsE points ovEr thE months to ComE. FEEl FrEE to stonE mE or sECrEtly AgrEE--or, EvEn BEttEr, ADD to thE list.At thE vEry lEAst, thEy’rE surE to stArt A gooD DinnEr-pArty Fight.
mArgArEtAtwooD writEs somE rEAlly AwFul Books.
thE quEEn oFCAnADiAn litErAturE DominAtEs thE litErAry worlD likE A giAnt. noBoDy hAs won morE AwArDs thAn shE hAs, AnD noBoDy is morE FEArED、thErE is no suCh A thing As A BAD rEviEw oF A mArgArEtAtwooD Book inCAnADA、thAt’s too BAD, BECAusE mAny oF hEr Books ArE tEDious AnD unrEADABlE, Full oF unplEAsAnt ChArACtErs AnD plot FillED with torturE. why will no onE sAy soBECAusE wE’rE grAtEFul thAt shE hAs put us on thE gloBAl mAp.AnD BECAusE iF thEy Do, thEy’ll nEvEr work in this Country AgAin. rECyCling is A wAstE oF timE AnD monEy.
onCE upon A timE it wAs EAsy to put out thE trAsh. toDAy, thE gArBAgE gEstApo rulEs our livEs.EvEry housEholD hAs BEComE A mini vErsion oF thE villAgE Dump, AnD EvEry onE oF us hAs BEComE A gArBAgE piCkEr, CArEFully sEpArAting our orgAniC wAstE From our BottlEs AnD pApErs, AnD worrying ABout whErE our DiFFErEnt kinDs oF gArBAgE ArE supposED to go.
Don’t try to sort A winE BottlE into thE wrong BAg! thE trAsh poliCE will punish you. thE truth ABout rECyCling is thAt it’s A giAnt wAstE oF DollArs AnD DoEsn’t hElp thE EnvironmEnt.But Don’t tEll your kiDs. thEy won’t BEliEvE you. thEy’vE BEEn BrAinwAshED、
only privAtE EntErprisE CAn sAvE puBliC hEAlth CArE.
tommyDouglAs, thECBC’s grEAtEstCAnADiAn, Brought us univErsAl hEAlth CArE.But EvEn his plAn DiDn’t originAlly pAy For EvEryBoDy’s minor DisEAsEs, suCh As ingrown toEnAils. his primAry goAl wAs to mAkE surE noBoDy FACED FinAnCiAl ruin iF thEy got siCk.
toDAy wE hAvE A systEm whErE Controlling Costs is morE importAnt thAn trEAting pAtiEnts, AnD whErE iDEology is DisABling us. in somE plACEs, inCluDing toronto, pEoplE go BlinD wAiting For CAtArACt (白内障) surgEry. thE govErnmEnt CoulD rEstorE thEir sight tomorrow simply By sEnDing thEm to A privAtE CliniC instEAD oF to A hospitAl. thE Cost to thE govErnmEnt woulD BE ExACtly thE sAmE.But inCAnADA, privAtE is A Dirty worD, AnD so thE govErnmEnt woulD rAthEr you go BlinD、
poor tommy woulD BE spinning in his grAvE.
DAviD suzuki is BAD For thE EnvironmEnt.
From gloBAl wArming to FArmED sAlmon AnD gEnEtiCAlly moDiFiED Crops,DAviD suzuki hAs just onE mEssAgE: thE EnD is nEAr.
hE is our homEgrown prophEt oF Doom, who CAn prEDiCt whAt will hAppEn in thE FuturE. hE ADvoCAtEs thE EssEntiAl wiCkEDnEss oF thE humAn rACE. likE A moDErn sAvonArolA, hE wArns thAt unlEss wE CAst our mAtEriAl possEssions into thE BonFirE, wE’rE All going to hEll.
thE trouBlE with this prEDiCting vision is thAt pEoplE ArE stArting to isolAtE From thE EnvironmEnt.AnD our hugEly ExpEnsivE invEstmEnt in thE unworkABlE kyoto trEAty, whiCh mr. suzuki tElls us DoEsn’t go nEArly FAr Enough, will wipE out morE prACtiCAl mEAsurEs to Cut smog AnD ClEA