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E、CEllspACing=0 CEllpADDing=0 wiDth="100%" BorDEr=0>English is thE most wiDEly-usED lAnguAgE in thE history oF our plAnEt. onE in EvEry sEvEn humAn BEings CAn spEAk it. morE thAn hAlF oF thE worlD’ s Books AnD thrEE-quArtErs oF intErnAtionAl mAil ArE inEnglish. oF All lAnguAgEs,English hAs thE lArgEst voCABulAry—pErhAps As mAny As two million worDs—AnD onE oF thE noBlEst BoDiEs oF litErAturE.
nEvErthElEss, lEt’s FACE it:English is A CrAzy lAnguAgE. thErE is no Egg in EggplAnt, nEithEr pinE nor ApplE in pinEApplE AnD no hAm in A hAmBurgEr. swEEtmEAts ArE CAnDy, whilE swEEtBrEADs, whiCh ArEn’t swEEt, ArE mEAt.
wE tAkEEnglish For grAntED、But whEn wE ExplorE its pArADoxEs, wE FinD thAt quiCksAnD CAn work slowly, Boxing rings ArE squArE, puBliC BAthrooms hAvE no BAths in thEm.
AnD why is it thAt A writEr writEs, But FingErs Don’t FAng, groCErs Don’t groCE, AnD hAmmErs Don’t hAm iF thE plurAl oF tooth is tEEth, shoulDn’t thE plurAl oF Booth BE BEEth onE goosE, two gEEsE—so onE moosE, two mEEsE
iF thE tEAChEr tAught, why isn’t it truE thAt thE prEAChEr prAught iF A horsEhAir mAt is mADE From thE hAir oF horsEs AnD A CAmEl-hAir CoAt From thE hAir oF CAmEls, From whAt is A mohAir CoAt mADE iF A vEgEtAriAn EAts vEgEtABlEs, whAt DoEs A humAnitAriAn EAt
in whAt othEr lAnguAgE Do pEoplE DrivE on A pArkwAy AnD pArk in A DrivEwAy ship By truCk AnD sEnD CAr- go By ship hAvE nosEs thAt nm AnD FEEt thAt smEll how CAn A slim ChAnCE AnD A FAt ChAnCE BE thE sAmE, whilE A wisE mAn AnD A wisE guy ArE oppositEs how CAn ovErlook AnD ovErsEE BE oppositEs, whilE quitE A lot AnD quitE A FEw ArE AlikE how CAn thE wEAthEr BE hot As hEll onE DAy AnD ColD As hEll thE nExt
you must BE shoCkED At A lAnguAgE in whiCh your housE CAn Burn up As it Burns Down, in whiCh you Fill in A Form By Filling it out AnD in whiCh your AlArm CloCk goEs oFF By going on.
English wAs invEntED By pEoplE, not ComputErs, AnD it rEFlECts thE CrEAtivity oF thE humAn rACE (whiCh, oF CoursE, isn’t rEAlly A rACE At All). thAt is why, whEn stArs ArE out thEy ArE visiBlE, But whEn thE lights ArE out thEy ArE invisiBlE.AnD why, whEn i winD up my wAtCh i stArt it, But whEn i winD up this EssAy i EnD it.
whiCh oF thE Following is truEACCorDing to thE Author, thE mEAning oFEnglish worDs ArE AlwAys in AgrEEmEnt with thEir spElling.
B．thE mEAning oF thE worD "hAmBurgEr" ComEs From thE ComBinAtion oF thE mEAnings oF thE worDs hAm AnD BurgEr.
C．hAm hAs thE sAmE mEAning in Both hAmBurgEr AnD hAmmEr.
D．thE worD "ring" in thE sEntEnCE "... Boxing rings ArE squArE" mEAns An EnClosED spACE For Boxing.