I'm sorry, I Won't Apologize

Almost daily, news reports include accounts ofpublic figures or heads of companies being forced to say they're sorry. In arecent case, Marge Schott, managing partner of the Cincinnati Reds, at firstdid not want to apologize for her remark that Hitler "was good at thebeginning but he just went too far. " Under pressure, she finally saidthat she regretted her remarks "offended many people". Predictably-and especially given her history with such comments-many were not satisfiedwith this response and successfully lobbied for her resignation.

This particular use of "I'm sorry"has a familiar ring. The other day my husband said to me, "I'm sorry Ihurt your feelings." I knew he was really trying. He has learned, throughour years together, that apologies are important to me. But he was grinning,because he also knew that "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" left openthe possibility-indeed, strongly suggested-that he regretted not what he didbut my emotional reaction. It sometimes seems that he thinks the earth willopen up and swallow him if he admits fault.

It may appear that insisting someone admitfault is like wanting him to humiliate himself. But I don't see it that way,since it's no big deal for me to say I made a mistake and apologize. Theproblem is that it becomes a big deal when he won't.

This turns out to be similar to the Japaneseview. Following a fender bender, according to a Times article, the Japanesetypically get out of their cars and bow, each claiming responsibility. Incontrast, Americans are instructed by their insurance companies to avoidadmitting fault. When an American living in Japan did just that-even though heknew he was to blame-the Japanese driver "was so incensed by theAmerican's failure to show contrition that he took the highly unusual step ofsuing him."

The Japanese driver and I are not the only oneswho are offended when someone obviously at fault doesn't just fess up andapologize. A woman who lives in the country told me of a similar reaction. Oneday she gave her husband something to mail when he went into town. She stressedthat it was essential the letter be mailed that day, and he assured her itwould. But the next day, when they left the house together, she found herunmailed letter in the car. He said, "Oh, I forgot to mail yourletter." She was furious-not because he had forgotten, but because hedidn't apologize.

1. What was Marge Schott forced to do?

A) To make a prediction of the future.

B) To say "Hitler was good at thebeginning."

C) To say"I'm sorry."

D) To count figures.

2. The author felt

A) her husband regretted the choice he hadmade.

B) Her husband regretted what he did.

C) Her husband regretted her emotionalresponse.

D) Her husband regretted the dirty words he hadused.

3.According to the author, when one makes amistake, he should

A) admit it and apologize.

B) Avoid admitting it.

C) Explain it away.

D) Make every effort to maintain his face.

4.According to the passage, what would Japanesedrivers usually do after a car accident?

A) They would admit their own faults.

B) They would blame each other.

C) They would avoid admitting faults

D) They would sue each other.

5.What was the woman angry about?

A) Her husband's failure to apologize.

B) Her husband's failure to mail the letter.

C) Her husband's failure to go into town.

D) Her husband's failure to leave the housetogether with her.